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A raging motorist accosts another driver for not moving
fast enough. A harried, tired parent, preoccupied with details
of the difficult day ahead, drives to work on autopilot,
forgetting to drop off his sleeping infant in the back seat
at daycare. The parent goes into the office as usual; the
child suffocates from the heat and dies. An overwrought
employee opens fire on fellow employees after being laid
off from work.
These headlines are becoming too familiar. We read them
and react with disgust and a bit of self-righteous indignation.
"How could they do that?" we ask ourselves. Then, when the
thick emotional smoke of first reaction clears a bit, we
step back and contemplate the speed-crazed world in which
we live. We wonder anxiously if we could get that angry,
busy, overwhelmed or forgetful.
Many people today feel their lives are spinning out of control
-- that they are doing more but enjoying it less. Stress
has become an accepted condition of modern life for everyone,
even our children. As Dr. David Elkind points out in his
books The Hurried Child and All Grown Up and
No Place to Go, pediatricians are noticing a greater
number of stress-related ailments (headaches, stomachaches,
etc.) in today's children than in previous generations.
Elkind says that psychological stress usually involves a
conflict between self and society. When we satisfy a social
demand at the expense of a personal need, or vice versa,
we create new demands and new stress. If we devote too much
time to work, for example, our obligations at home grow
along with our stress.
Men and women recovering from alcoholism and other addictive
behaviors know what happens when life spins out of control
and becomes unmanageable. They learn how complex problems
can be handled one problem at a time, and how sobriety can
be achieved one day at a time.
Modern society could benefit from this practical approach
to living. Instead of releasing tension, many of us pull
harder, wind tighter in an effort to reach our unattainable
goals. We are like children who put their fingers into a
Chinese finger puzzle. They pull and pull, trying to release
their two index fingers from the webbed tube, but instead
of loosening their hold, their fingers are grasped even
tighter. Finally, they discover that all they have to do
is relax their hold and the tube will slacken enough to
let their fingers slide out. Like people in recovery, they
learn the value of letting go.
Recovering people also learn the importance of living balanced
lives. They have experienced the pitfalls of obsession and
compulsion. Their lives were taken over by addiction and
became frighteningly out of balance. As their addiction
gained more power, other activities, interests, and loved
ones became less important. In recovery, they discover the
joy of cultivating a healthy body, mind, and spirit. Here
again, the lessons of the Twelve Steps are universal.
It's a good idea to pause every now and again to take your
physical, mental, emotional and spiritual pulse in order
to track how well you are keeping your life in balance.
Take a minute to reflect upon your previous week, and ask
yourself:
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Am I
honoring my body? Have I listened to its aches and tensions?
Did I take time to rest? Did I get some exercise? Did
I eat a balanced meal?
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Am I
honoring my mind? Have I taken time to read a good book
or attend an interesting class? Was I able to exchange
ideas with a friend?
-
Am I
honoring my emotions? Was I able to express my feelings
in my journal or to others? Have I spent quality time
with someone this week? Did I take time to play and
laugh?
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Am I
honoring my spirit and soul? Have I spent time in prayer,
meditation, or solitary thought? Have I read something
inspirational or listened to beautiful music?
The American comic Eddie Cantor said, "Slow down and enjoy
life. It's not only the serenity you miss by going too fast.
You also miss the sense of where you are going and why."
--Published Sept. 24, 2001
"Copyright © 2003 Hazelden Foundation.
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